The perspective.
8:08:00 PM
Hi.
Today is such a day. There was nothing great thing happened, but everything was okay. I didn't hope for anything, except my exams. Seem chemistry and arabic.. not good, but I could pass it. At 1pm, I went back at home. The weather was pretty good; a.k.a it successfully 'warm' me up. I walked home alone.
It has been a year.
I used to walk home alone or by my friends under those trees,
on that path.
There was nothing changed,
but when I turned back, everything has changed... (suddenly Taylor and Ed appear on the screen, haha)
...yes, it has changed. Everything.
the car which has left,
the leaves who just fell down from trees and those have blown away by the wind,
those people who just passed by,
and me.
Haha.
But yes, it did.
...
Like what has been happened, it truly happened.
And if it will happen again, probably it'll never be the same like it was.
...
Like, this universe can't be motionless, unless He does.
Like, we're living in dynamic space, then we can't be a static-person.
As long as the second keeps moving, so do we.
I still walked.
There's no people, no transportation, just the voice of the leaves scrapped by the wind...
....
....
The metaphore says, those leaves were happy, also the wind.
I slowly realize. Even 17 is just number of my age, but everything that happened in my life, made me feel like 'yes, I can't stand on it for a long time. Now I'm 17' So, what?
What?
Oh, I have to change.
Yes, change.
Like, I used to believe in a-happy-ending things, but when I look into reality, I can't hope for it. Life isn't as easy as I see. Many things that I hope can give me a good expectation, but the reality does not. It made me become hopeless. I don't know why but I have to change my mind. I have to be more mature to solve the problems. The anger, the ego, the emotion, and another bad feelings; I can't let them in. Cause they absolutely can't solve the problem at all. Only kindness, patience, and open-hearted that will.
So, I always ended it with everything-good-at-the-end thought. It's pretty okay to hope; for hoping. But, only hope to Allah; it won't give us a disappointment. #1
Like, those people who just come, then go, as they want. They come to us doesn't always mean to make us as their home. But, the best way that we can do is treat them as their home. Be good to them even they're not.
And one thing, we're not alone. We have Allah; who always there for us, anytime, anywhere. Always hears us, sees us, and He always loves us. So, don't ever be desperate and feel lonely when they go. Let them. Sometimes Allah removes some people from our life for a good reason. If Allah makes us as their home, they will definitely return back to us.
At last and surely, we all will return to Him, The Almighty Allah SWT. #2
Like, the future is both scary and beautiful. I have asked some of my friends about where will they go after High School. Seems they definitely know where it is. Until now, even I have a bunch of dreams, but still, I can't decide anything, anywhere.
So many options, and I still can't choose what's best, yet.
It's okay, but it I can't stand with this situation. I have to decide, to make, to arrange, what future will gonna be. I mean, we must have an aim; a destination; a purpose of our life. Dream is just a dream, unless you do. When we already have a purpose, then we can go for it. I know it will be hard and the road is rough, but there's not only one way. I believe there's so many ways to go for it.
Now, even I haven't decide yet, but I have a dream. Actually I have many dreams, but I know what's the best one. What I have to do then? Have an effort; study, pray, focus. Allah always sees our effort, so let us do our best for dunya and akheerah, in sake of Allah. #3
When we have bad times, sometimes we feel like this is the end of our life -- whereas it's not. When we're on this situation, all we wanna do is telling others, so they will give attention to you. Yes, I do sometimes (not for seeking attention but I just wanna tell them). But, not at all; not everytime, not everything, not in every situation. Honestly, I seldom tell people about my feelings. I keep it myself. Why? Cause I can not trust anyone. I'm afraid if they really care to me or they just feel anxious about it.
They know us well, doesn't ensure that we can tell them anything. Sometimes we have to choose what thing we can share about. If we don't wanna have a disappointment, we shouldn't tell everything. We have Allah. Tell Him, ask Him everything. Maybe we don't get an answer directly, but He always hears us. His answers are the best. He just want us to be more patient and tell Him more often. We won't get a disappointment, yes we won't. He always answers us, maybe not now, but later; maybe we will think that it doesn't appropriate, but it may be the best for us. Cause He knows the best for His servant. His plans are better than ours.
Once again, if we don't wanna get a disappointment, don't tell people, but tell Allah. #4
People out there who have the same age with me, seems they already got their passion. While I'm here just spending my time for thinking such unimportant things, in front of laptop just watching youtube or timeline, and grumbling everytime. At school, I just got sleepy and sometimes I'm so lazy to do my homeworks. I wanna have an effort, but laziness of me has a contra for it.
The point is, I need a motivate of myself; from myself. I read quotes, inspiring stories, but it doens't matter if I don't have any motivation from myself first. Even though it's hard to focus on my way, but I wanna and I will try, and try, and try. Still, in sake of Allah. #5
At last, see my reflection on the road, just makes me sure that I'm okay. All this time I felt like I'm lost. I don't know whether what I'm doing, the path that I skipped by, the decision that I take; are right or not, will be good to me or otherwise it will make me getting lost to nowhere.
But slowly, Allah guides me home; a place where I can see the truly reflection of me. Although, the reflection still splits everywhere. But, Allah lets me to compile it become one. With a beautiful patience and His direction, it makes me believe at the end, everything will be good. Yes, it will.
Just keep believe, despite it's hard.
....
The reason why I wanna share about it, to let you know that we're here; to make a change. To be grateful about the days that Allah still gives us of. To help others. To see the world with our wide-eyes. To spread the good. To remind each other. To keep believe in our path with our dreams. So, keep in our way. Nothing gets better, unless we change ourselves to be better in every chapter of life. And I don't know whether what I have said was right or not. Cause that's all only my perspective.
...and perspective depends on what you see from, for, and how. Hope I can become more understand with every happening that comes to my life. #6
:)
Have a nice day! xoxo
P. S : mid-test hasn't finished yet. But 5 of 8 have passed.
Good luck, all.
Oh, actually I wrote it yesterday, but I just got an internet connection. Huhu
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