Happy New Islamic Year 1436.

Ya Allah, forgive me if a day passes and I don't thank You enough and ask You to forgive my sins. All I want to do or I wish in this new beginning is still the same as I did; be better. Eventhough every new day is the time to brand new either. But still, I want to be a better person for each day.

Muharram mubarak, everyone!

May Allah bless us, as always.

:)

Hi.

Today is such a day. There was nothing great thing happened, but everything was okay. I didn't hope for anything, except my exams. Seem chemistry and arabic.. not good, but I could pass it. At 1pm, I went back at home. The weather was pretty good; a.k.a it successfully 'warm' me up. I walked home alone. 

It has been a year. 

I used to walk home alone or by my friends under those trees,

on that path.

There was nothing changed, 

but when I turned back, everything has changed... (suddenly Taylor and Ed appear on the screen, haha)

...yes, it has changed. Everything.

There's no people, no transportation, just the voice of the leaves scrapped by the wind...

....

....

The metaphore says, those leaves were happy, also the wind.

I slowly realize. Even 17 is just number of my age, but everything that happened in my life, made me feel like 'yes, I can't stand on it for a long time. Now I'm 17' So, what?

What?

Oh, I have to change.

Yes, change.

Like, I used to believe in a-happy-ending things, but when I look into reality, I can't hope for it. Life isn't as easy as I see. Many things that I hope can give me a good expectation, but the reality does not. It made me become hopeless. I don't know why but I have to change my mind. I have to be more mature to solve the problems. The anger, the ego, the emotion, and another bad feelings; I can't let them in. Cause they absolutely can't solve the problem at all. Only kindness, patience, and open-hearted that will.

So, I always ended it with everything-good-at-the-end thought. It's pretty okay to hope; for hoping. But, only hope to Allah; it won't give us a disappointment. #1

Like, those people who just come, then go, as they want. They come to us doesn't always mean to make us as their home. But, the best way that we can do is treat them as their home. Be good to them even they're not. 

And one thing, we're not alone. We have Allah; who always there for us, anytime, anywhere. Always hears us, sees us, and He always loves us. So, don't ever be desperate and feel lonely when they go. Let them. Sometimes Allah removes some people from our life for a good reason. If Allah makes us as their home, they will definitely return back to us.

At last and surely, we all will return to Him, The Almighty Allah SWT. #2

Like, the future is both scary and beautiful. I have asked some of my friends about where will they go after High School. Seems they definitely know where it is. Until now, even I have a bunch of dreams, but still, I can't decide anything, anywhere.

So many options, and I still can't choose what's best, yet.

It's okay, but it I can't stand with this situation. I have to decide, to make, to arrange, what future will gonna be. I mean, we must have an aim; a destination; a purpose of our life. Dream is just a dream, unless you do. When we already have a purpose, then we can go for it. I know it will be hard and the road is rough, but there's not only one way. I believe there's so many ways to go for it. 

Now, even I haven't decide yet, but I have a dream. Actually I have many dreams, but I know what's the best one. What I have to do then? Have an effort; study, pray, focus. Allah always sees our effort, so let us do our best for dunya and akheerah, in sake of Allah. #3

When we have bad times, sometimes we feel like this is the end of our life -- whereas it's not. When we're on this situation, all we wanna do is telling others, so they will give attention to you. Yes, I do sometimes (not for seeking attention but I just wanna tell them). But, not at all; not everytime, not everything, not in every situation. Honestly, I seldom tell people about my feelings. I keep it myself. Why? Cause I can not trust anyone. I'm afraid if they really care to me or they just feel anxious about it.

They know us well, doesn't ensure that we can tell them anything. Sometimes we have to choose what thing we can share about. If we don't wanna have a disappointment, we shouldn't tell everything. We have Allah. Tell Him, ask Him everything. Maybe we don't get an answer directly, but He always hears us. His answers are the best. He just want us to be more patient and tell Him more often. We won't get a disappointment, yes we won't. He always answers us, maybe not now, but later; maybe we will think that it doesn't appropriate, but it may be the best for us. Cause He knows the best for His servant. His plans are better than ours. 

Once again, if we don't wanna get a disappointment, don't tell people, but tell Allah. #4

People out there who have the same age with me, seems they already got their passion. While I'm here just spending my time for thinking such unimportant things, in front of laptop just watching youtube or timeline, and grumbling everytime. At school, I just got sleepy and sometimes I'm so lazy to do my homeworks. I wanna have an effort, but laziness of me has a contra for it.

The point is, I need a motivate of myself; from myself. I read quotes, inspiring stories, but it doens't matter if I don't have any motivation from myself first. Even though it's hard to focus on my way, but I wanna and I will try, and try, and try. Still, in sake of Allah. #5